September 24, 2022

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On Saturday night at around midnight, I was getting the Luas home from town. I got on at Stephen’s Green. I was standing next to an American family who were obviously tourists, and a big group of rowdy young fellows. One of the rowdy lads was fat, very drunk and stuffing his face with chips (in a gross manner not unlike Pól from Cáca Milis). He drunkenly stumbled into me when the tram started moving. I said “Hey, watch it.” The American woman standing beside me said “If you’re gonna hurl, hurl on someone else”. In fairness to her, he did look like he was going to puke. I said “Yeah, I was about to say the same thing.” To which the fat lad said (to me, in an accent I presumed was English) “Your accent is disgusting.” If you’re wondering, I have a fairly nondescript (perhaps slightly posh) Dublin accent. Because I thought he was English, I said “If you don’t like Irish accents, you shouldn’t have come to Ireland.” That was obviously a mistake. He then immediately switched to 100% fluent Irish and started making fun of and threatening me. He also said that he was from Cavan, and up until this point I hadn’t realised that he was wearing a Cavan jersey. He was speaking very quickly and I couldn’t quite keep up, but I replied in broken Irish telling him to leave me alone. He started squaring up to me, but the men of the American family (who were total strangers to me) backed me up and he backed down. I should also mention that he was vaping in the tram, and that when we reached Harcourt Street, he didn’t know/realise that the doors open on the other side of the platform, so he started trying to kick the door down until one of his friends copped on and opened the door on the other side.

I am very grateful to those random Americans for sticking up for me.

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